Open packet and eat contents.
-Written in English and Chinese on a Chinese packet of peanuts for in-flight snack.
WARNING: Contains nuts.
-Warning on the back of a Sainsbury's 500g-packet of salted peanuts.
Now even juicier.
-Claim for Sainsbury's 1-litre carton of pure orange juice. Prepare for bottles of spring water with the label "Now even wetter."
Open by hand.
-Written on the plastic screw top of a bottle of Sainsbury's cider. Probably because the hospitals are full of people who have attempted to open these bottles by other methods, such as flamethrowers or Semtex.
After opening, keep upright.
-Warning on the bottle top of a flavoured milk drink.
Take care: product will be hot after heating.
-On the package of a Marks and Spencer bread and butter pudding.
We recommend you cut this cake using a sawing motion with a knife with a serrated edge.
-Advice on a tin containing a chocolate cake.
Do not turn upside down.
-A useful reminder printed on the underside of Tesco's tiramisu pudding.
Single ingredient: 100% whole wheat. We cannot guarantee that this product is completely nut free.
-Words on the side of a packet of Mini Shredded Wheat.
Contains light-eating puff pastry.
-Label on Safeway's Bramley Apple Turnovers. Prepare for black-holes in the supermarket.
Only eat the leaves and stems of this plant. Do not eat the roots or soil.
-A helpful warning with a potted basil plant from Woolworth's.
Clean with hukewarm water containing a little bicarbonate of sods... Store moat in nirtight containers... When having problems with electrics, change the fusel and switch on the lightsl.
-Highlights from the instruction manual for the FR-061 and FR-142 models of Daewoo refrigerators. A second manual helping customers understand the first one is expected.
Keep out of children.
-Instructions with a Korean kitchen knife.
Contains no additives or preservatives.
-A note that appears on bottles of Sarson's vinegar (of all things).